OPEN OR CLOSED ADOPTION?
The choice to adopt a child is a huge step. There are numerous things to consider before proceeding with the adoption process. The type of adoption is one of the biggest choices you must make. Would you prefer the birth parents be involved, by opting to have an open adoption? Would you prefer your soon-to-be child know only you as their parent(s) and opt to have a closed adoption? Before making this decision between an open and closed adoption, you should have a clear understanding of what each form of adoption involves.
Open adoptions can be beneficial to older children. They help older children experience less abandonment, fear and pain. With this type of adoption, the child is able to comprehend why the birth parent(s) were unable to keep them. An open adoption can provide answers such as where the child’s traits and specific heritage originated. This is especially beneficial during the adolescent years, as children experience inner growth and explore their roots. An open adoption can decrease the yearning to search for his or her birth parents and can provide adopted children much needed support.
There can be downsides when deciding upon an open adoption. The adoptive parents may be apprehensive to holding an open adoption for fear the birth mother will change her mind at the last moment and try to regain custody of the child. Additionally, a child might portray strong feelings of rejection when it comes to having an open adoption.
Many parents today choose a semi-open adoption. This is intended to be a combination of a traditional closed adoption and a open adoption. This provides more privacy for all parties instead of a confidential non-disclosing arrangement. Direct communication is limited and agreed upon by the parties. This is a beneficial arrangement for both families, especially the child. There are far less questions left unanswered which results in a decreased unknown fear.
There are times when a closed adoption works better for a family. Families choosing to adopt internationally might favor this option. Closed adoptions do have their benefits. By choosing this option, it eliminates the potential of an unstable or emotionally troubled setting, which may be created by the birth mother. Having a closed adoption also provides the birth parents a sense of closure and more privacy during the process.
Closed adoptions can also have its downsides. Adopted children may become inquisitive and begin questioning their identity, which can bring on negative thoughts. They begin to speculate which parent they look like most or why they might look different from their adoptive family. This especially becomes an issue for those who’ve never been told they were adopted. Adopted children can become distant and preoccupied with these issues, which become more mystifying with age.
Additionally, closed adoptions bring about a lack of pertinent medical information about the birth family. It can leave a child with life long questions which may become an emotionally charged adult issue.
Whether choosing to have an open or closed adoption is up to you. But remember the child's best interest is what’s important. You want to create a smooth transition and this should be your first priority.
